Wreck of the Day

When all thinking, pondering and debating with myself fails, I go with one of the rules I live by: when in doubt, don't.

The more I think about it, the more I get convinced that it's not for me. Just the fact that I'm not so sure about it strengthens the feeling that I'm not into the idea of working with those people. They're unfriendly, they barely talk to each other and they seem to have separate worlds. A bit similar to last year's scenario, it suddenly felt all too wrong to me.

What's strange is that I'm confident with my portfolio and I have a strong feeling that I will get in. And yes, I like the idea of being in a publication again and see my output printed. It would give me a new sense of fulfillment and it would look great on my resume. But I don't see myself being happy working with those people. I know I shouldn't compare them with GMG, but I just can't help it. It's such a different working environment: bland, boring, routinary and stagnant.

I know there's a possibility that I will work in such an environment and work with people who fall under the same category. But I don't want to deal with that right now. On the other hand, I don't like how my parents won't like my indecisiveness. While they wouldn't get mad with my decision, as they believe I'm old enough to know what's right for me, I know they'll be a bit disappointed. Some of my friends would probably say that I'm getting this syndrome all over again. It's okay though, I know where they're all coming from. At the end of the day, it's all on me.

*Credits
Magazine: Vogue UK, December 2008
Photographer: Tim Walker
Celebrity: Helena Bonham Carter
Cropped by yours truly