Last night, 11:38PM:
Here I go doubting again. Do I really want to do it or do I just like the idea of it? I end up confusing myself most of the time and it's a mess. I don't intend it to be this way though. It's just that I don't want to push through with things that are suddenly in the almost and maybe category. It's not what I pictured it to be and it's not what I'm used to, which is why I'm having doubts whether it's worth going for and if I really want it that bad.
It's easier to turn my back, say no and just go on living with the kind of life I have now. But then, I know there's a possibility that I would regret it at one point and have the what ifs clouding my mind. Besides, I can't keep doing things in this stupid way of mine.
What now?
Today, 7:18AM:
I think I found some bit of answer through my blockmate's quote of the day.
It's always up to you on how you're going to run your life. Run it for good or ruin it that bad. Yes, people will care or try to shift you to the wrong track. But at the end of the day, it's still your choice that matters. Choose what you love, then love your choice.
I'd always have that passion to back me up, whatever choice I end up picking. The only difference is if I go with yes, I'd be doing it not only for myself but for other people as well. If I say no, I'd be back to where I am, no pressures and doing it just for myself. Now the only question left to answer: which one would I want to live with?
